the love triangle

I came across this article in the newspaper which spoke about a particular ‘love triangle’ theory of sorts. Frankly at first glance, the theory looked stupid and in a way funny. Maybe it was because of this belief I had/have that ‘love’ is too complicated and the fact that someone could formulate a theory about it just did not go well with me.

For all of those who remember from their earlier studies, we had studied something called as the fire triangle. Well its basic concept was that unless all the 3 constituents of the 3 sides of the triangle are present there cannot be a fire. This theory also stated something similar.

Let me elaborate. The theory states that the 3 constituents are: intimacy, passion and commitment. It states that you have a ‘perfect’ love if you have all 3 of these in the relationship, but various permutations and combinations of these 3 lead to various ‘kinds of love’. To state a few, if your relationship has only intimacy, you’re only friends. If your relationship has only passion, it’s just an infatuation. If your relationship is made up of intimacy and passion, then it’s a romantic love affair. Unfortunately I cannot remember anything related to the commitment part of the triangle .

Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is…can you really form theories and classifications for something like ‘love’. For as far as I can remember ‘love’ has been an undefinable word for me. Each one to themselves. What is love for me may not necessarily mean love for you and vice versa. I will leave you with this line from a song, ‘I love the way you love me, but I hate the way I’m supposed to love you back.’

I for...

I happened to come across one of my friends’(I feel ashamed to call them this) status message which read, ‘Indian government…I hate them’. It doesn’t strike like a very controversial or a very provoking statement. Does it? Well to me, it does. Whatever are the flaws, whatever are the drawbacks of this country, it is MY COUNTRY and I will shower unconditional love and devotion to it.

For every person who has such a point of view or such a complaint, I have only one question…’what have you done for the country?’ Most of these complaining wretches haven’t cast their vote even once in their rotten existence. What gives you the right to condemn and criticise the country thus? You don’t want to be a part of the process to select a government but when someone else does it for you, you have the audacity to abuse them? To criticise them? To condemn them?

Every tom, dick and harry is buying/selling without paying the right taxes. But when the country’s infrastructure grows slowly, ‘yeh India hain…yahan aise hi hota hain’. Yahan aise hota hain, because of people like you. People like you who do not want to contribute to the growth of the country. But sure as hell have a snide comment about the slow growth of the country. Is the government supposed to grow money out of thin air for the various ‘infrastructural growths’ that you want to see in India?

Let’s get one thing straight; you don’t become an Indian just by being born in this country. You have to earn it. Ask not what the country has done for you, ask instead what have you done for the country? Jai Hind!!!

turMoilS

Is it always necessary to act, think or do the ‘right’ thing? How do you define what’s right? How do you differentiate the right from the wrong? Can you differentiate the right from the wrong? I don’t think they are compartmentalised. I don’t think there is a strict line drawn between the two. I think they lead into one another, merge into each other, mix with each other. This is what is commonly referred to as ‘the grey region’. I guess. But you see, even that term has a predominantly negative feel to it. Like you’ve already passed the judgement that grey is as good as black.

There are certain things I would like to do. Certain things that most definitely fall under the grey category (if not the black). So is it still justified to go ahead and do it?
Especially considering that I am aware of this nature of my desires. I mean, if not now when I’m 24 (just turned) and when I have certain amount of leeway with the extent of the mistakes I’m allowed to commit, then when? I do not want to act upon the wisdom gained by over 40 years of life when I still have over 15 years to get there. It’s all confusing. Very confusing. And very very questionable of course.

Isn’t this supposed to be the time when I am all carefree and doing as I please? Forget about ‘supposed’ to be. This is what I want to be doing. Are there any guidelines, any rules, or any such thing we need to be following? When do we know that ‘it’s time now.’ When?

we believe...

Why is everyone trying to impose their beliefs, their principles on everyone else? It’s not necessary that I should agree with you or share your beliefs. And it definitely is not necessary that if my beliefs differ from yours you should put in every ounce of energy you have in changing my beliefs to yours (or vice versa). It’s high time we learnt to accept different opinions, beliefs and principles. Of course we feel our beliefs are right and the corollary that their beliefs are wrong. But if that person ‘believes’ it…he must also think he is right. He might not be able to explain it. He might not be as good with expression of his thoughts as you are and maybe half as good as you are with convincing people. That doesn’t make him wrong or you right.

There are still a million phenomena occurring all around us for which we have no logical explanation. But still they occur. Maybe his beliefs have something to do with these unexplainable occurrences. This is just one of the possible reasons I’m trying to put across to bring about this change in attitude. Maybe it’s stupid. Maybe you can come up with a better explanation. As long as you can accept difference.

Variety, they say, is the spice of life. This is the precise reason why we need various points of view, various sets of principles and various opinions. All the discussions need not end with ‘either you convince me, or get convinced’. Just imagine, it would be such a monotonous life if all of us had just one view on everything. Say for example, if all of us thought that Sachin Tendulkar should retire. What would the media write about everyday then? Rather what would you read about everyday? What would form the dinner table conversation of most of the houses in India? But these are petty topics. Topics that don’t affect our life in an explicit manner. Therefore we can afford these differences. Why not the same outlook for other matters? So proudly we read the slogan which signifies the Indian strength ‘unity in diversity’, then why is there a lack of spirit to accept the diverse beliefs? Why?